Boston, MA Local Native (October, 2001)
By Lexi
Altar Native Boston correspondent
Photo by Rebecca Kiley

It takes just one look at the Krank Squad to rouse suspicion that this is not your ordinary rock band, and just one listen to confirm it.

Firstly, the band members have all assumed stage names that you might easily find in a Super Mario Brothers video game. Then there's the instrumentation. Kranky Spears plays drums, Kaptain Krank plays bass, G-Krank plays another bass, and DMK plays yet another bass. Low end, lusty, and lovin' every minute of it, the Krank posse has been at it for just shy of two years, getting gigs in all the grittiest clubs and garnering gushing reviews from Boston scenester elite. And nobody is more surprised than the idea man, Kaptain Krank.

"People like it more than I ever expected," admits the Kaptain, who is known outside Krank Kingdom as the multi-talented musician and webmaster Peet Golan. "I get lectured daily on how I should concentrate on the Krank Squad and become successful with it. But, it's our policy not to take the band too seriously. If we do, then our joke won't be funny to us anymore and that's what's most important" The joke? That's right kids, The Krank Squad started as a joke that "got totally outta hand." All the Kranks are devoted to other bands and projects. DMK plays bass in the Bentmen, Kaptain plays in Psychotic Larry and We're All Gonna Die, G-Krank Drives a Forklift and Kranky Spears writes songs for his cousin Britney on the side."

So how often does a multi-bass side-project party band come along? One that throws down the cock rock in a booming tornado of Tequila, hot chicks, and stage dives? Well, never, so I decided to corner the Kaptain and get some insight on the new CD, bowel control, and how it feels to whip it out onstage.

AN: What's the Krank Squad story?

Kaptain: We're just having fun, being jerks. Just imagine a musician who has been searching for a bass player for a long time to complete his musical vision. So, this musician walks into a club and sees us on stage. What do you think goes through his mind? Maybe, "(huff, puff) Why does this silly band have three bassists and I can't fine one?"

AN: Tell me about the famous ending to the "Less Talk, More Krank" CD release party this summer. What the hell was THAT?

Kaptain: Aw jeez, I think there is a famous ending at each of our shows! The one you're talking about is G-Krank and I tossing our basses in the air and letting them drop and then diving into Kranky Spears' drum set.

AN: I hear there's a video of that on www.kranksquad.com.

Kaptain: At my birthday show, I drank six shots of Tequila in fifteen minutes. I only remember two shots, blacked out, danced with an authentic Mexican guy with a sombrero, fell three times, and hurled my bass. Thanks to Random Road Mother and Waltham (the band) I was a complete mess. Everyone says it was a legendary performance. Wish I was there to see it, but I was on planet Tequila.

AN: What else?

Kaptain: Once DMK, our upright bassist, smashed his upright bass in front of 400 people at Harper's Ferry in Allston. That was brutal, people were in shock. I don't think I have seen anyone do that before. Those things cost good money.

AN: Since the Krank Squad is all basses, tell me, how low end is TOO low end for the Krank posse?

Kaptain: I think we'd be playing too low if the resonance of our lowest note would make our bowels move outta control. I mean, it's okay if it happens to the audience. People remember shit like that. But, I would hate to be the entertainer with soiled shorts.

AN: Are there ever any regrets or desires to add some non-bass instruments?

Kaptain: Can you make Tequila an instrument? Nah, it's all about us side men/ bassists grouping together and doing somethin' that doesn't involve any other instruments but bass and drums. DMK plays bass in The Bentmen, I play in Psychotic Larry and We're All Gonna Die. G-Krank Drives a Forklift and Kranky Spears writes songs for his cousin Britney on the side.

AN: How do you define cock rock?

Kaptain: Ha! I never thought I would ever get asked that. Um...I would have to say that's where the soul in our music really comes from. There is a lot of heart in our band, but there is way more of our crotch involved in the Krank Squad. We're not in it for the money. It's the girls and women that keep us going.

AN: Ever whip it out onstage?

Kaptain: Were you at that show?

AN: No, I think I'd remember that.

Kaptain: Seriously, I played a show at Bill's Bar in Boston and was wearing no underwear. My zipper would go down every time I sat down. I thought I had it under control. So during the set, I kept lifting my bass in the air during the breaks in the songs. After a while people started laughing. I just thought they were having a good time. But after the third or fourth time, I felt a breeze and realized that my dong was hangin' in the wind. Man, I guess the crowd WAS having a good time. A good time looking at my Elvis.

AN: Talk about cock rock.

Kaptain: It's all for rock 'n roll.

Check out the Krank Squad, it's good for what ails you. Loud, silly, and you just might get the full Monty on the side. Shows, pics, and video at www.kranksquad.com.


Email this article
Add Altar Native To Favorites (IE only)